Who's up and who's down this week?

These baaaaad boys didn’t get such a bad deal. This pair of goats somehow found their way onto subway tracks in Brooklyn and became the hottest topic in New York for the day. Where did they come from? Who knows. But where did they go? Well, these couple of lucky kids got rescued by none other than Jon Stewart, of “The Daily Show” fame. After wrangling in these wayward wethers, he whisked away Willy and Billy to a wonderful happily ever after at his Farm Sanctuary in Watkins Glen.

The two lawmakers from opposing parties managed to swing a bill that made New York the first state to establish a panel for assessing prosecutorial misconduct. Who was for it? Gov. Andrew Cuomo, ultimately, but also social justice advocates from groups that support wrongfully accused civilians. Who was against it? District attorneys fearing an influx of charges from unhappy defendants. Cuomo did make DeFrancisco and Perry pinky promise that an amendment would follow in the next year to address those concerns, but that’s hardly a blemish on an otherwise clear win.

When President Donald Trump addressed Gov. Andrew Cuomo on Twitter, it did not seem too unusual. When he mentioned New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio, it turned a few more heads. But it’s not every day that the president gives a shout-out to a rank-and-file state assemblyman. After Hikind went on Fox News to praise Trump for deporting a Nazi guard living in Queens, the president showed his appreciation by tweeting a thank you to Hikind – and it got over 61,000 likes!

A few days before the November 2016 election, these two New York-based Wall Street Journal reporters broke the news that the National Enquirer paid $150,000 for Playboy Playmate Karen McDougal’s story of an alleged affair with then-candidate Donald Trump – and then killed it. The Trump campaign denied it, and the Donald went on to become the president, but that was not the end of the tawdry tale. This week, former Trump lawyer Michael Cohen reached a plea deal that includes his role in the matter – and he said he made the payment at Trump’s behest. If the WSJ duo keepsatit, perhaps they’ll be the Woodward and Bernstein of our era.

In a state attorney general’s race where 4 out of 10 voters are undecided, one source might help sway them: The New York Times. The pregnant professor got the coveted nod from the Grey Lady thanks to her independence from the governor, in a sharp rebuke to Letitia James’ campaign. It’s not the first time the paper’s gone against Cuomo – and voters didn’t seem to listen to the Times’ pick of Mark Green in 2006. But in this wide open race where even the Working Families Party and City Councilman Ritchie Torres can’t decide, it’s best to have the Times on your team.

The Democratic congressional candidate for New York’s 21st District lost her fight to create a CD 21 Unites ballot line after the state Board of Elections invalidated enough signatures to leave her short of the 3,500 signatures she needed. The challenge came from allies of Republican Rep. Elise Stefanik, the congressional representative Cobb is trying to unseat. Cobb will remain on the ballot as the Democratic and Women’s Equality Party candidate, but it’s another disappointing setback for her long-shot candidacy.

This is not what you’d call taking a bullet for the president. The former attorney and all-around fixer for President Donald Trump finally spilled the beans on his old boss, testifying under oath that he secretly paid off two women to keep quiet about their alleged affairs with Trump. In the long run, it might end being even worse for the president himself – who, according to Cohen, directed him to make the payments. But for now, Cohen’s in a lot of legal trouble – and it doesn’t look like he’ll get a pardon from the president.

The New York City Administration for Children’s Services commissioner was the recipient of a scathing Aug. 17 letter from Sheila Poole, acting commissioner of the state Office of Children and Family Services. She wrote that the hiring of a convicted murderer/youth counselor who allegedly shoved a child was just one part of wider failure of the agency to conduct proper background checks of its employees even after it instituted checks on new hires a year ago.

The Erie County GOP chairman can’t seem to figure out a way to replace Rep. Chris Collins on the November ballot. After Collins suspended his reelection campaign following his indictment on insider trading charges, the county party leaders are now going to wait on endorsing a replacement because it could affect state races that might throw the state Senate to Democrats. Plus, they have to find a new place for Collins to run in order to force him off the ballot – assuming the Democrats don’t hold everything up through litigation.

This is one deportation that’s not likely to spur any protests. Palij, who served as a guard in a Nazi labor camp, made it to the U.S. decades ago, became a citizen and lived a mostly quiet life in Queens. But now, at 95, he has been sent back to Germany – although he’s unlikely to be prosecuted there due to a lack of evidence. For his part, he has denied any wrongdoing, saying he was forced into service. For the U.S. Justice Department, it closes the book on the final such case in the country.