Understanding and facilitating life beyond the ultra-Orthodox Jewish community

While current events have put international and intercultural conflict front and center in political discourse and heightened concerns about free speech and antisemitism, there is an important but often overlooked story about Jewish poverty and vulnerability here in New York City.

Recent studies by the Pew Research Center and the UJA Federation of New York reveal that the majority of ultra-Orthodox Jews live below the poverty line. New York Nonprofit Media caught up with Lani Santo, CEO of Footsteps, about what that looks like here in New York City and the challenges faced by those leaving the ultra-Orthodox community. 

This interview has been edited for length and clarity. 

Before we dive into the topic at hand, I’d love to ask you a few questions about yourself and your professional background. What initially drew you into this work?

After immersion in international human rights inspired by Jewish values early in my career, I wanted to make an impact locally, where I was raised and lived. With a nonprofit management degree, alongside experience with grassroots NGOs worldwide, I saw many inspiring leaders who often didn’t invest in culture and infrastructure to sustain their visions. When the opportunity to lead Footsteps presented itself, I went for it. I felt called to practice a different approach to leadership. I was also deeply drawn to the mission from a personal perspective; I was raised in Orthodoxy and understood firsthand that the veil of conformity can often stifle individuals pursuit of self-determined lives. It is a privilege to lead an organization that  supports individuals to live authentically, in an accepting community, with access to resources they so rightly deserve. 

As CEO of Footsteps, what visibility do you have into Jewish poverty in New York City and the unique vulnerabilities some members of Orthodox communities face?  

UJA Federation of New York’s most recent census shows that 36% of Jewish households in Brooklyn – mostly those in the Haredi (ultra-Orthodox) community – are designated poor or near poor. The community sustains itself with a robust mutual aid network and welfare services, sharing resources amongst itself.

This makes the economic hardship even more severe for individuals who leave these insular communities. 

Having lost access to the robust safety net funded and administered by the religious community, many former ultra-Orthodox individuals struggle with housing insecurity, employment barriers, and social isolation, on par with some of the most vulnerable populations in the city. 

According to Footsteps’ 2024 community survey, almost a quarter of respondents said they are unable to meet monthly expenses and an additional 50% said they were just meeting monthly expenses.

Yet, there are misconceptions about Jewish affluence and sensitivity of discussing intra-community issues, and so this group often falls through the cracks, compounding their complex situations. 

What are the factors that make it hard for individuals to break the cycle of poverty and that make it hard for service providers to help? 

The perspective that I can speak to here is regarding those who chose to leave ultra-Orthodoxy, from my experience over the years I have been incredibly moved by the tenacity and go-getter approach that I see in Footsteps members (a.k.a., our clients). Once they have made the difficult decision to leave the community in which they are raised – and that is not a decision that is taken lightly – Footsteps stands by our members and invests at critical moments in their journey to help propel them forward. They are akin to immigrants into a city in which they are citizens.  They are determined to forge ahead. With that said, there are struggles that go alongside triumphs in their journeys.

The ultra-Orthodox community is largely constructed as a closed-circuit. Homes, jobs, and basic needs are negotiated amongst community members. Without access to these resources, members often need to start from scratch in all areas of their lives, without the know-how of how to navigate the modern world. Religious schools, known as yeshivas, provide almost exclusively  religious lessons in Yiddish and Hebrew, leaving students totally unprepared for the world beyond the yeshiva doors, with little to no oversight by local and state officials. 

When individuals come to our doors, many struggle with basic things such as not owning, or knowing how to use a computer or smartphone, making it difficult to access anything online. Many Footsteps members lack a strong command of English upon leaving, as Yiddish is the first language in many homes and there is limited secular education in religious schools. 

Finally, it is critical to understand the mental health pressures and internal messaging our members need to undo to forge ahead in new lives. After a lifetime of messaging from their communities about the dangers lurking in secular society, it can be difficult to then turn to those in this world for help.

Can you describe the services that Footsteps offers? 

Footsteps is the only organization in North America providing comprehensive services and programs to people who have chosen to leave their ultra-Orthodox communities of origin.  Whether they are taking their first, hesitant steps or reaching out for support once they have dared to leave, Footsteps is there for them. We combine peer support and community building, alongside critical 1 to 1 professional services – mental health, educational access, scholarships, job counseling, housing stability, financial support and legal support.

Overall, we support, affirm and advocate for individuals and families who have left, or are contemplating leaving ultra-Orthodox Jewish communities in their quest to lead self-determined lives; and create conditions that further their agency and independence.  

We continue to face misconceptions – some claim we malign the Orthodox community when, in reality, we are grounded in values of self-determination, respect, integrity, and inclusion. Our focus is providing holistic services to those who choose to come through our doors while also raising awareness of their triumphs and challenges. 

What is top of mind for you and your colleagues at Footsteps right now? Are there big leaps ahead for the organization, challenges you’re looking to overcome, places where you’re planning to grow or deepen your impact?

The fundamental issues our members struggle with have not changed. But external factors exacerbate and add barriers. Most of our members rely on the social safety net of this country and would be impacted quite negatively by government cuts to benefits. Some members – especially those who identify as queer and trans – are expressing heightened fear and anxiety. Others are still in the closet in the community, or they are focused on ensuring they have a safe space to rest their heads at night, so secular news and politics are not near top of mind. Our model is based on strong referral partners and we have already seen many peer organizations with significant funding cuts.

The cumulative sense of isolation from Footsteps members’ journeys, the pandemic, increased political polarization, the war in the middle east, grappling with Jewish identity in new ways, and searching for a sense of safety in this country, are taking a toll. Mental health supports are more critical now than they ever have been.

We’re finding that members, both seasoned and new, are thirsty for connection, with many stepping up to organize and create community for each other. And we’re looking to build out trauma-informed leadership training to bolster these efforts. 

Many members are financially unstable and in unstable and unsafe housing situations. To address this central issue, last year, Footsteps introduced a housing program to its holistic approach of clinical, social, legal and vocational supports on members’ journey to self-determination and independence. 

Our parents fighting for custody still face tremendous biases and barriers in the courts as judges regularly defer to the more religious parent and the ultra-Orthodox community. We are proud to have made progress in advancing fair and compassionate resolutions in family court. We educate our members about their rights as parents, and have developed strategic three-way partnerships: Footsteps alongside legal services providers and pro bono firms. While we have made strides in our family justice work, it has become increasingly difficult to find pro-bono legal support for these cases, especially as large firms become more risk averse with monitoring from the federal government. 

What is important for other service providers in NYC to understand about working with individuals from this community? 

Developing a deep cultural competency about those exiting ultra-Orthodoxy is critical to helping them access resources. I’ll offer a few examples from our work with partner agencies to illustrate this. One long-term, wonderful partner in the DV space had a well-meaning staff person wonder aloud to a Footsteps member, “Why do you dress up and go home for Yom Kippur and live a double life?” It is truly important to understand the price of leaving for our members and asking innocent questions like this can instantly erode trust. 

Another common thing we see is external practitioners frustrated with our members’ inability to make a decision, not realizing this is because they have never been invited to make one before. Our members have had little to no control over what clothes to wear or who to marry or when to have kids, so answering, “What field of work or study interests you?” can provoke paralysis. Add in a language barrier as many of our members speak only or primarily Yiddish, and you have thousands of eligible New Yorkers struggling to access the vital benefits and services they desperately need and deserve.

The answer to that question, “Why don’t you leave?” is both complicated and simple. The simple answer might be, “I could lose my kids.” And the more complicated answer is, “Leaving is not black and white, and it’s not something you do once. You do it over and over and over.” Our members are faced with a catch 22. You give up belonging to family and community in order to belong to self.

To help city agencies understand these nuances of our population, and others who are leaving insular religious communities, Footsteps recently created a new position, the scholar-in-residence. Since its creation, Footsteps has trained 30 referral partners in cultural competency, including 500+ social workers, college counselors, case managers and more.  Thanks to the New York Community Trust, we now have a grant to build out the sustainability of this program.

If you’re a practitioner interested in connecting with us to learn about how to best identify and serve those on the margins or questioning ultra-Orthodoxy, please reach out to connect@footstepsorg.org. You can also read many great books, articles and watch “One of Us” on Netflix as a start. 

If you could wave a magic wand, what would you change for people in the community you serve in New York City?

A beautiful question!

If I could wave a magic wand, I would ensure that anyone leaving an insular religious community could do so without having to risk everything – losing custody of their children, their social and financial safety nets, their relationships with their friends and loved ones – all to live a life that is true to who they are. Our members have extraordinary tenacity and vision; they imagine totally new futures for themselves. But this sort of transformation should have not come at such a high price.

I wish for a world where self-determination isn’t punished, where individuality is celebrated in community, and everyone can build a life that reflects who they truly are. A world with space for nuance – beyond the black-and-white thinking that communities turn to in the name of safety and certainty. In its place, I imagine a world rooted in possibility, where complexity is embraced and people are supported with resources and compassion as they forge their own path.